Assalamualaikum, It must have been.. a long time since i post something on this blog. Truth be told i only use this blog to express things when i felt that i couldn't express it fully. It's true i'm loud and hyperactive person, but deep inside, i'm actually a lonely guy, truly. And no matter how much someone would laugh at me when i said it since they thought it was a joke, but truthfully, i was never joking. I do like to joke, i do like to annoy people and most of all, i do like making people smile. But, i hardly ever lie to people in my jokes, unless it was sarcasm.
Time passes so quickly and i am currently in my 2nd semester pursuing my diploma in Electrical Engineering in UiTM P.Pinang. If you ask me, do i like engineering? I would say no. At the same time i was never forced to take the course. To make it simple, why i accept the offer? so far in my life, things that i never liked, never expected to become, are the things that i am good and mold me to make me as what i am today.
Main reason why i decided to post something in this blog is basically to express my insecurities or whatever it is that is making me uncomfortable inside these past few weeks. I have this friend, whom i never expected to be one of my closest friend since i met her from camp. Although we never met after that camp, we became quite close. Just like my other friends (mostly girls), i became a place (especially my close friends) where people would share their complaints, problems and self insecurities . And i'm not complaining, i actually enjoy listening, being someone helpful to others, encouraging them, motivate them, and solve their problems. It's like being a candle, lighting up the darkness that surrrounds you, until the sun came back.
So, back to where i was. As time goes by, we had the chance to meet and go out together, supposedly another close friend is joining but she's busy with her marriage stuff. We met twice. And that was when it all changed. I sense something wrong after the second outing, since we haven't contacted for quite awhile since both are busy with studies and activities. As for me i noticed she started a new leaf, new Facebook, new Twitter, new WeChat, new number. I was a bit umm.. dissapointed that she never told me that she made a new number (yea i guess i am being a bit selfish) but i put that aside.
I did noticed that she somehow have some problems. Did try talking to her about it, but she didn't feel comfortable talking about it. But who could blame her, i'm not the only one who was asking that question seeing that there are some other people giving her the same question in her ask.fm. I noticed she treats me differently somehow not in a bad way of course but i felt that she has felt less comfortable with me. Somehow i felt i might have done something wrong. I also noticed my relationship with her as close friends is fading and most probably her trust in me is fading as well.
I guess, all I'm saying is that i missed the complains, the problems, the things that she shared, but at the same time i should be happy knowing she no longer have problems (hopefully) to complain and start accepting it and do something about it. All in all, I am happy to be of help and of use to her and will definitely miss the moments we share. I pray that she'll have a wonderful and a better life than before InsyaAllah. And to my friend who is about to be married i wish you the best in your marriage and may Allah bless your marriage. Now, i think it's my time to move on as well. I am blessed to know you all and become a candle to my friends.
